The Long Haul
by Dragonrider0108
Summary: Felicity Smoke always been confident...but with everything that has happened recently she is feeling a tad insecure. Will Oliver Queen pull through when she needs him the most.
1. Chapter 1: Insecurities

**Chapter 1: Insecurities**

Fifty one…fifty two…fifty three…

Felicity's panting was getting heavier; the muscles in her abdomen and neck were taunt and screaming in agony. It was a rarity for Felicity Smoke to engage in any form of exercise, yet alone completing a two hour workout. A small part of her brain snidely reminded her, that if she had started working out when she joined Team Arrow then things wouldn't be so difficult…maybe things would be different if she was stronger…like Sara… and Oliver would give them (whatever they were) a shot.

Honestly Felicity never really saw the need to gain physical strength. Felicity was confident in her abilities and had convinced herself that people should stick to their strengths. Digg and Oliver worked well together on the field and she provided excellent support and info using her IT skills. Together they were a formidable team. Moreover Digg and Oliver had constantly reminded her that they would never allow anything to happen to her while they were still breathing. Of course after the Count incident and taking a bullet for Sara, her sense of security had been shattered somewhat and she had enlisted Digg's help with self-defence lessons. She had initially thought of asking Oliver for help but Oliver would never agree. She had once casually mentioned sparing to Oliver…

 _…Flashback…_

 _It was after a relaxing day in the lair, Digg had decided to head home early. Felicity had just finished re-programming her computers. There was nothing left to do but she didn't feel like heading home yet. Oliver had just finished his tenth set on the salmon ladder and was shirtless._

 _Of course Oliver Queen is shirtless and two meters away from me today was torment Felicity day._

 _He moved over to the training dummy. Even for Oliver today's workout was excessive. He had started right after Diggle left, which was approximately 3 hours ago and hadn't stopped or slowed since. Felicity's brows furrowed slightly, usually Oliver only went overboard with his work outs if he was really worried or really angry. A soft sigh escaped her lips as understanding dawned upon her. A few days ago the count had kidnapped and threatened to inject her with vertigo. Luckily Olivier had saved her, unfortunately Oliver had been forced to break his vow (to never kill again) in order to do so. On the drive back to the lair Oliver was unusually quiet and tense. Felicity had assumed that Oliver regretted breaking his vow. She recalled how throughout the ride she was plagued by worries resenting her for forcing him to make such a decision. After an internal battle she had apologised and Oliver had brushed her concerns aside assuring her that 'there was no choice to make'. Needless to say the ordeal had thoroughly shaken her. Now she realised that maybe it had affected Oliver a different way. Oliver had always been convinced that he would be able to protect her. She had overheard Oliver confessing to Digg that 'it was too close' when he explained the events that occurred that day. His words had been choked and it sounded like he was in pain. Now she realised that maybe he was shaken by the experience because he had almost lost her. She knew that she was a valuable member of the team; she was ready to admit that Oliver had become a close friend. Felicity cared about Oliver and if the things he said when the mask was off were any indication then he cared about her as well. How had she missed this, it was too easy to forget that there was a man behind the mask. There weren't many things that could faze Oliver, but Felicity knew that the man's weakness was the people that he cared for. This was probably something that Oliver had to come to grips with on his own._

 _Regardless Felicity found herself desperately trying to lift the mood. When Felicity joined the Arrow she told herself it was because she knew she wanted to serve a purpose higher than herself and make a difference. That was definitely a part of it but there was also the fact that as he lay bleeding in her car she could see in his eyes the burden he carried. The weight of his crusade…his loneliness was etched into the mesmerising blue eyes that met her own. Even then she knew that she would help him…there was no choice to make…._

 _She had to help him now, a new determination seeped through her while she forced herself to smile and maintain a casual tone while saying;_

 _"Oliver why don't you teach me how to fight, there isn't anything left to do and… it could be fun and you wouldn't have to worry about me as much…then maybe one day I could kick your ass. Although that would probably never happen…not that I want to kick your ass...3...2...1"_

 _She trailed off as Oliver froze; he hadn't turned around at her words and Felicity watched his back with growing apprehension. Maybe her great idea wasn't so great after all she had thought that training her would put Oliver's worries at ease. Watching Oliver clench and unclench his fists and the muscles on his back flex her stomach dropped. After an agonising minute his only reply was a curt 'No'…before continuing his routine with a renewed vigour. His tone left no room for argument and Felicity decided not to push it and thankfully for once her mouth listened to her brain._

 _She dropped the idea and never revisited the thought until recently after meeting Sarah. Digg was of course correct in his deduction that she felt left out. Being Oliver's 'girl' was threatened upon Sarah's arrival and for the first time Felicity felt inadequate for the team. She felt that she had to prove herself. Oliver had tried to convince her that she belonged regardless and yet she couldn't shake the feeling that she was a burden. That is how she enlisted Digg's help albeit a little reluctantly, but after 15 minutes of coaxing and several threats later he had agreed…_

 _…End of flashback…_

Beep… Beep…

The sound of the computers interrupted her thoughts. Finally the programme was installed and Felicity Smoke could finally accept the invitation of her cosy bed.

'Yes Felicity, you are going home and you can worry about Oliver Queen and his broody ass tomorrow.'

Suddenly too tired to change out of her gym clothes she grabbed the key off the table and headed for the door.

'I can come to the lair early tomorrow and grab the clothes.'


	2. Chapter 2: The Attack

**Chapter 2: Musings**

 **Authors Note: I am sorry that I took so long to upload this chapter, I actually finished writing it days ago but just wasn't satisfied by it. Guys just a heads up, I probably won't be able to update in a while. I know how agonising the waiting can be and I would hate to disappoint anyone, but the next few weeks are going to be super busy for me with college…That being said I will try and get as much writing in as I can. Enjoy!**

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.

….

Her car was parked a little distance from Verdant. Unavoidably she spent a lot of her time at Verdant and it occurred to her that someone may notice the constant presence of her Mini Cooper. Now Felicity constantly changed her parking position to avoid any suspicion of her involvement with a certain green vigilante. Past Felicity would have laughed at the paranoia she was displaying, but this was the result of prolonged exposure to Oliver Queen and John Diggle. Both men made it a point to drill caution into her from the minute she joined Oliver's crusade. Unfortunately, this would mean a fair walk to her car and on a chilly night like this one the prospect was anything but desirable.

A quick look at her watch confirmed that it was indeed well past the 12:00pm that Felicity had promised Oliver she would be at home by. It's not like she meant to, Felicity assured the part of her brain that sounded suspiciously like Oliver. In true Felicity Smoke fashion she had immersed herself in various codes and consequently completely lost track of time. Usually Oliver trained until he was ready to go home and basically kicked her out when he left, insisting that it was essential that she clocked in at least 4-5 hours of sleep. If she was being honest, the day job and night job were taking an undeniable toll on her. Dark circles were beginning to form around her eyes and her limited social life had been all but obliterated. Lately Felicity felt the crushing need to contribute to the fullest, not that this wasn't her attitude previously. However now there was this inescapable feeling that she wasn't pulling her weight. Felicity had a unique set of qualifications and she was smart enough to know that she was a valuable member of Team Arrow. Despite this knowledge she couldn't help but think that if she was better…stronger then Oliver would see her as something more. Felicity liked to think of herself as a confident person, but lately she couldn't shake the thought that no matter what she did it was never enough. Dig and even Sara had tried coaxing her into going out more and 'living her life'. The one person she wanted to hear from however kept his silence and so the punishing cycle continued.

Regardless of reason this was definitely a stupid idea. Turning sharply into an alley Felicity began to pick up her pace, knowing her car was parked close by. She came to an abrupt halt as muffled voices grew closer. Any chance of going back and simply taking another route dwindled as the voices became disturbingly close and louder. Suddenly two men who appeared to be slightly drunk stood in front her. Gulping she tried to sidestep the men and continue on her way, but the shorter man stepped in front of her. With growing apprehension, she said nervously;

"Um please just let me pass and we can all be on our way gentleman…I really don't want any trouble."

Shortie scoffed in response before making a grab for her hand. Diggle's training kicked in and Felicity allowed the man to come close before delivering a punch squarely in the face and kneeing his stomach. The man howled before dropping to floor in evident pain.

"Yes one down one to go…Oh frack. One to go!"

Turning around the other man was a blur lounging at her wildly. She managed to swerve to the side just in time, causing the second man to join the first in a writhing mass of limbs. The lack of foresight caused Felicity to violently collide with the brick wall and bang into the bins stacked to the side. A white hot pain shot up her arm she gritted her teach and forced herself to stand and face the men.

Any hope of leaving immediately was shattered as the second man recover and stood up and

"You stupid…" before he could yell another word Felicity's finger rose and sunk into the approaching man's throat effectively cutting off any further sound. Chocking the man backed up eyes comically wide in surprise, the man was notably tall in stark contrast to his companion. Despite the fact that her ankle was now throbbing she managed to slam her heal in shorty's knee (who stupidly attempted to get up and help his friend). Mr lanky looked like he was going to continue the fight but shortie stopped him from taking another step forward before stating;

"She ain't worth it man" before turning and hobbling/sprinting out of the alley. Lanky followed shortly after but not before throwing her a furious glare. As soon as they were out of eye sight she sagged forward, exhausted. Blood was freely flowing from her left forearm and her ankle throbbed. Now that the adrenaline was fading her body began to shake. Make a quick decision she decided to head back to the lair. The muscles in her leg started burning as she walked, across the secluded area. Her heels were making it harder and harder to continue, she stopped for a second, catching her breath, and removing her heels, throwing them behind her. Despite the sheer exhaustion and the pain she felt a little burst of satisfaction and fighting of the men.

The walk back seemed surprisingly short, mind still reeling from the encounter. Felicity barely registered entering the pin and closing the door behind her. Walking into the lair she limped towards the couch and flopped onto it. She knew that she should tend to her injuries…a few minutes she just needed a few minutes and then she will do just that.

The couch really wasn't that comfortable, really it was a miracle that Oliver had even agreed to buy it. The argument that they had over the purchase was a memorable one. _Mr Queen_ had finally relented to buy a couch, but not the lush one that she wanted, but this hard one which was really just a board. Running a hand through her hair she found a sizable lump. Up till now the thrill of the fight had prevented the smaller injuries from being noticed the most prominent of which was an ache resonating from her temple where her hair seemed to be matted with blood.

'Ugh… Maybe a shower would be best…' A quick look at the watch confirmed that it was already 3:42am. Dragging herself to the shower Felicity attempted to shed her clothes and wash as quickly as possible.

15 minutes and several muttered curses later a dry, dressed Felicity was rummaging through the medical kit. Once the blood had been washed off it became clear that her injuries were mostly superficial. The cut down her arm was oozing slightly but it was nothing a few bandages couldn't fix. The last of the cuts taken care of Felicity hobbled to the couch and allowed herself to fall onto it. She was just about to drift off to sleep when as soft but clear Felicity was heard from the entrance of the foundry. Whipping her head around at the sound she saw striding towards the sofa a concerned expression etched on her face.


End file.
